Everything Changes

My mom used to make fun of me for hating change. She is happy to narrate stories from my childhood about how I didn't like to throw things away, even tights with holes in the knees. For the record, I did like to keep things because I was always sentimental, but the tights thing? I don't recall that. But, if Mom said it, it must be true, right? I DON'T like change. I'll admit it. Tradition and sameness (I think I just made up a new word!) symbolize stability for me. Those of you who know me and my family, there were definately some times of instability in my childhood, so who could blame a kid for trying to hold on to things?

Every holiday from my childhood had a certain dependability to it. Tradition, if you will. No only did I want to hold on to that solid stability, but I looked forward to all the fun we always had. On Easter Sunday there was a big family dinner with aunts and uncles and cousins, and usually an Easter program of some kind at church. July 4th (MY FAVE HOLIDAY!) brought a huge picnic with all of the church members, water balloon fights, softball games, volleyball games, and then everyone getting together again in the evening to watch the city fireworks. Thanksgiving had the Macy's parade, getting dressed for dinner at my Grandparent's, watching movies and playing games with aunts, uncles and cousins. Christmas...that was just a HUGE ordeal! Aunts and uncles and grandparents, all nine grandkids (25 people altogether once we all got married), presents stacked to the ceiling, Grandma's Hungarian sausage and eggs and Christmas cookies (clothespin cookies and date pinwheels, omw), and then dinner and breaking out all the cool stuff we got for Christmas.

Does none of this sound awesome to you, my readers? Who would want to change all that?  Even as a grown up this sounds like good times. These days, things are different. Sometimes we go visit the in-laws for July 4th because it's my father-in-law's birthday (still fun, but way more intimate and quiet), everyone is too busy for dinner on Easter, Thanksgiving is just a fractured mess because all the grandkids are breaking off into their own separate family units, and Christmas is pretty much the same way. It's not so much that I hate change, I just want my kids to know the fun of friends and family and holiday hoopla that I knew when I was little. I hold these memories so sacred. Now it's time for our family (Bryan and I and the girls) to formulate our own traditions...but nothing that we come up with can compete in my mind to the big, loud, gettogethers of my childhood.

I don't hate change. I hate the loss of fun, extended family, and of being a kid. So really I think it's the growing up part that sucks so much. If I could have stayed 10 years old forever, that would have been a-ok with me.